30 Amusing Paraprosdokians that Make You Read the Sentence Again

A paraprosdokian is an unexpected ending to a sentence or statement. In Greek, it means “against expectations”. It usually places the first part of the statement in a new, hilarious context.

Paraprosdokians by famous people📸👇🏾

  • Albert Einstein – “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
  • Benjamin Franklin – “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
  • Hugh Herbert – “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
  • Oscar Wilde – “Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.”
  • Richard Siken – “We clutch our bellies and roll on the floor… When I say this, it should mean laughter, not poison.”
  • Stephen King – “I have the heart of a small boy – in a glass jar on my desk.”
  • Terry Pratchett – “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
  • Zsa Zsa Gabore – “He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.”

Some more paraprosdokians💃🏾👇🏾

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  • Always swim or dive with a friend. It reduces your chance of shark attack by 50%.
  • Being smart is knowing how to get out of a tough situation. Being wise is not getting into it in the first place.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool.
  • Eat what you want and if someone lectures you about it, eat them too!
  • Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  • Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
  • I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
  • She got her good looks from her father; he’s a plastic surgeon.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
  • The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  • You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  • We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
  • Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

Can you think of any other statements that have such weird endings? Let us know in the comments below!👇🏾

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